Thunder on the Nile or Hippo Haberdashery (Safari pt. 6)

After our game drive we all went back to the camp for some respite and to ready for our ride along the Nile.  It was uneventful and the words of warning from the hulking man just before our departure rang in my head, All the action is on the left hand side, he said, so get there early.  We can’t be the only people he told this too.

There was a good deal of toe tapping as I watched the other vans drive off and waited for my team to show.  In the end, however, it was our driver who delayed our departure most.

By the time we arrived at the ferry it was nearly full.  The ferry for the ride was a double decker with lines of two seat benches on the bottom and standing room topside.  I secured the only remaining seat on the left and with a gentlemanly grace offered the other to any of the British soon to be doctor ladies.  Minor jockeying ensued.  One stayed as did the male Brit former tour leader.  Everyone else absconded topside.

We begun to pull away.  It was a false start as a crew of three Frenchies pulled up as we pulled out.  They loaded by leaping on and we were then, whew, officially underway.

The lead boat tour guide said a few words that I didn’t catch as I had my eyes and ears trained on the water and the surrounding shores.  It wasn’t until I heard something concerning a cooler on board and having a Nile on the Nile that I tuned in.  It was all too poetic, a Nile on the Nile.  I quietly thanked God I had brought cash and the male Brit former tour leader and I locked eyes and telepathically arrived at an agreement, this. would. happen.

Pods and pods of hippos.  Here was one.  There was one.  It was wonderful.  There was also a new British lady I hadn’t seen before on the boat.  She was cute.  That was nice.  At the beginning there were a few African Buffalo bathing near the shore and a belligerent baboon or two and a few warthogs running around on land.  The first crocodile we saw was actually quite small and on the shore sunning with it’s mouth agape.  He didn’t move at all.  He didn’t even flinch when a full water bottle was flung at him from up top and landed a foot from him.  Assholes.  I’ll get to them later.  Assholes.

Something changed soon after.  It was in the air, palpable and yet indescribable.  The water was no longer serene.  It started to chop and for the first time since coming to Africa, I was cold.  The animals were gradually becoming agitated.  Hippos no longer waded idly but were on the move.  The boat guides sensed it as well and in an unalarming way asked some of us to move to the back of the boat.

The weight, he said, is too up front.

And then it began to rain.

People started slowly slinking down from upstairs.  Those on the edges started edging towards the center of the boat.  Pansies.  Hippos in the pouring rain was too perfect.  And then the sky really opened up.  People topside tumbled down and as the guides started securing the rain flaps, locking us in, I was snapping photos.  I used my back as a shield to protect my camera and clicked away.

I was surprised at the unease in the boat.  I packed my camera and started battening down the hatches, like a man.  I felt the eyes of the boat on me as I tied down the flaps nearest me.  It felt good.  I was ten feet tall.

Right about then it became clear to me that we were careening towards the shore.  As quickly as it had come, my masculinity started melting away and the genuine concern on everyone’s countenance finally registered.  SLAM!  We had run aground.  One guide moored us to the shore and we waited there for the rain to recede.

We waited for approximately thirty anxious minutes before finally getting back in motion.  The sky over the Nile was parted right down the middle, to the left were clouds and choppy water, to the right a calm current and clear skies.

Eventually we got to the falls.  The male Brit former tour leader and I had our beers and I got the cute new Brit girl to take our picture.  We moored on a large rock in the middle of the river in front of the falls and clamored out for photos.  Then we turned back for the camp.  I was satisfied.  A Nile on the Nile, too perfect.

UP NEXT: Squadron and Soda Please or Pachyderm Pals (Safari pt. 7)